The sound effects make this cat fight something special.

man(u) vs. animal

Spurs player Manu Ginobli slaps a bat out of mid-air. Kind of impressive. Then he picks it up and I'm thinking he might want to Wikipedia bats and rabies before picking it up. And also he might not want to pick it up. But go ahead, Manu. You're a man. And you got a game to play.

good advice

Kiddieland drags its dirt-smudged Keds into that good night

Farewell, Kiddieland (1929 - 2009)

There's no escaping fun.

I love Kiddieland. The Tribune photo gallery makes it look like an abandoned carnival in post-meltdown Chernobyl. Lots of concrete and chain link fencing. Another icon from my fading youth goes to the scrap yard. I sigh over sepia-toned memories filled with sepia-flavored cotton candy. You'll never know the trouble I went through to get the Tilt-A-Whirl car with the best spin, or the heartbreak of losing my Notre Dame baseball cap on The Little Dipper roller coaster. How did I lose a hat on that thing? It only went like 10 MPH. It's been many years since my last visit to Kiddieland. Glorified carnival rides at Kiddieland made way for later adolescent pleasures at Six Flags, pleasures like getting whiplash on the Shockwave roller coaster and throwing up a funnel cake. Melrose Park won't be the same when Kiddieland closes its prison-grade fence forever. It's sad. What will children do next summer?

They'll probably watch TV. There's a lot of good stuff on TV. I'm not too worried.

This Budweiser commercial was filmed on the El in Chicago. It was only aired in Ireland. The commercial is joyful and will make you want to buy Budweiser, even though it tastes like goat pee. The Beatles can sell anything!

oldie but a goodie

Are you feeling motivated now?

Chicago, 1948

I know I know I know I know I know. "Where have you BEEN?!?"

I been around. (makes vague gesture).

I'll be back. (makes another vague gesture).

I caught a mouse in my kitchen last night, humane-like. I've done it before, so it's not as exciting as last time. Ho hum, yawn. Sure, I enjoy hearing the *thump* of the mouse falling and attaching the *thump* to a "yes! (fist pump) got him! The mouse looked so scared in the trash bin. I felt bad for it. But then I noticed the mouse poo and piss-splash it left on the stove. Screw him. No mercy for those who shit where I cook Ramen. Enjoy your new life dodging drunk kickball teams on the Winnemac Park baseball diamond.

Hey you Chicagophiles! These Traveltalk shorts about 1948 Chicago are too good not to share. Visions of recognizable monuments in an otherwise lost landscape. It seems the very 1940s sounding narrator James A. Fitzpatrick didn't read some of the copy prior to recording it, but that's part of the charm. There was much more Neon on Randolph Street in the 40s. I suppose there was much more urban neon everywhere in days gone by. I like the hushed bzzzzzsssst of a neon sign when there's no other noise around.

I'm glad I live in a country where accidents like this can happen

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) -- Authorities said a bullet from a gun that was accidentally dropped injured a Tampa woman sitting in a bathroom stall. Police said the bullet hit 53-year-old Janifer Bliss in the lower left leg. She was taken to a hospital with minor injuries. Bliss was sitting on the toilet in a hotel bathroom when a woman in the next stall accidentally let her handgun slip out of her waist holster. The weapon discharged when it hit the ground. Police said the gun belonged to a 56-year-old woman who has a concealed weapons permit. (link)

Hotels in Tampa are rough. One minute you're taking a pee/poo, the next minute you're taking one in the leg.

tara buck interview

Here's an interview with actor Tara Buck, discussing her role in my play Ten Cent Night currently playing at The Victory Theatre Center in Burbank, CA: http://www.trueblood-online.com/cast-crew/tara-buck/the-vault-exclusive-true-bloods-tara-buck-in-ten-cent-night.

Tara has a recurring role on HBO's True Blood -- that's why this is on a True Blood fansite. There are no vampires in Ten Cent Night, but by golly, what a great idea for a rewrite. Alan Ball, call me.

breakfast

Oh god, I love Gordon Ramsay. It's hot the way he calls contestants on Hell's Kitchen stupid donkeys. I gave his scrambled egg technique a whirl today. It's a terrific and easy way to make eggs if you like 'em salmonella soupy. I will never whisk my eggs again.

The quick trip to San Diego was good. My 8:10pm flight out of O'Hare suffered a one hour "customer service delay" as the flight waited for 30 junior high school kids making a connection from New York. They finally got on the plane and started swapping seats with each other to sit next to friends, holding up the flight longer. Flight attendant on speaker: "Sit down, please. We WAITED for you. Take your seat NOW." Kids. If they're not on your lawn, they're screwing your air travel.

My first rental car experience went down easy if I don't count the part where I trekked across a long parking lot, only to watch my rental car back out of the parking space and drive away without me. It's almost midnight. I'm alone standing in a rental car parking lot watching the tail lights on my rental car disappear into the night. What just happened? It was like that scene in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles where Steve Martin gets to the rental space and there's nothing there but peel-away tire marks on the pavement ("You can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!" youtube it). So I had been assigned the same car as the customer ahead of me. For my inconvenience, I was upgraded to a sporty, blue Toyota Corolla with a trunk. Ohmygod I know, right?

The MOXIE Theatre production of The Butcher of Baraboo was a lot of fun. They served the play up right, and it's not an easy play to get right. Awesome set and design, killer acting, terrific directing. I saw it with a packed Saturday night house. Laughs in all the right places. It was nice to enjoy a production of that play as an audience member. Very satisfying to watch talented people take your script and make it fly. It was therapeutic, I suppose, if you know my history with the play. I enjoyed meeting everybody and hanging out after the show. Always fast friends in the theatre world. Glad I went. I wasn't going to go up until a week before closing weekend. But glad I did.

I just stayed up all night after the show, headed to the airport at 4:30 a.m. for my early-ass flight. I was in the emergency exit row on the airplane, so facing me was the flight attendant in the jump seat for takeoff and landing. As we were landing, a bird flew right by the window, and her eyes got big and she said, "Oh, wow, did you SEE that? That bird went right by the window. I've never seen a bird go right by the window like that. Are there any more out there?" Personally, I prefer my flight attendants to be a little more unflappable.

I decided last minute-ish to fly to San Diego to see this.

I'm out the door in a few.

A slight entertainment in the meantime. The genius of this, besides everything, is the use of a karaoke cover of Da Do Run Run. Get to the choppa, kitteh!

I didn't see 'the piano lesson' at The Court

(on Gchat with Brian)

Brian: you know what i saw that was amazing was 'the piano lesson' at court

fucking loved it

really amazing

me: I haven't seen 1) anything at the Court, or 2) an August Wilson play. So I should probably see that

Brian: you'll get your chance again soon

ma rainey's black bottom is their first show of next season

same director

i've seen fences and the piano lesson at the court now and they were both amazing

me: I want to see The Piano Lesson, so, I should do something about that

Brian: it closed :(

me: FUCK!!!!!!!

Sigh.

Dammit.

(throws chair against an upright piano)

Brian: that's the lesson

me: Learned.

o, california!

To my dear friends in California:

I know it's been rough. Your state is descending into crippling depression, it routinely gets set on fire, and earthquakes will cause it to drift into the Pacific. What can I do to help? I can offer the gift of theatre! Ooh aah. Two of my plays open on the West Coast very soon. They are funny plays. While you are laughing, you can forget that sharks have developed a taste for human meat as a result of Mexican drug traffickers dumping bodies in the ocean.

The Butcher of Baraboo produced by MOXIE Theatre
San Diego, CA
June 6 - June 28
http://www.moxietheatre.com/

Ten Cent Night produced by The Victory Theatre Center
Burbank, CA
June 19 - August 2
http://www.thevictorytheatrecenter.org/

See, it's not all gloom and doom.

revised pixar film rankings

1. Toy Story 2
2. Wall-E
3. Up
4. Toy Story
5. Monsters Inc
6. The Incredibles
7. A Bug's Life
8. Finding Nemo
9. Ratatouille
10. Cars*

* I haven't seen Cars.

Notes

• The first 10 minutes of Up made me as teary as the Sarah McLachlan musical interlude in Toy Story 2
• Tough call between Wall-E and Up. I err on the side of adorable, sentient robots
• However, I may swap the rankings of Up and Monsters Inc in a few years
  
• I'm in the minority on my #7 ranking of A Bug's Life